It was a chilly winter night.She was waiting for a bus to her home while discussing with her friend how much she enjoyed the movie they had just watched. After much praying, a private bus stopped in front of them and readily agreed to drop them to a point where they may find a better conveyance. Thanking her God, she boarded the bus with her friend. It hadn’t gone very far, when she and her friend were attacked by the fellow drunk passengers, and brutally assaulted. She was raped. Multiple times.
Later, she continued her fight in hospital for weeks. She fought like a warrior but couldn’t survive.
‘Nirbhaya’ or the fearless, as the country named her. This article comes as a tribute to her martyrdom. We don’t want any more ‘Nirbhaya’, but certainly do want our women to be as fearless and strong, as she wished she could be.
You’ll find numerous articles on where to attack and how to, to make the most painful impact on the attacker. But, trust me nothing will work till you don’t have the confidence to execute.
And confidence comes from knowing that you possess the strength and skill to ward off any harmful eyes laid upon you. It’ll not come in a day. You’ll not get in just one class. You’ll need to become regular. So, start with a little cardio exercise to first strengthen your heart from giving it away to your face that – You are about to be attacked, you know it and that makes you scared. If your attacker senses you are scared, his confidence gets a huge boost. You don’t want that to be happening, right?!
Step 1 to Self Protection: Get Confident, Take your responsibility.
Step 2 to Self Protection: Strengthen your heart
Employ fun exercises like Jogging/Running and Biking. Not only will it get your heart racing but will build a stamina.
Its not always a hideous stranger strolling in alleys that will attack us. There are times when people from our circle of trust cross lines. So, next is a mental technique of De-escalation. A trick of compliance. To prevent the situation from worsening (like to stage where you find yourself tied to the dinner table or bed post), agree with the attacker. No need to read that again, you read it right, Agree!
I know its not easy, but if you think fast, and smart, you may be able to save yourself by tricking the attacker. And then, when he has taken the bait, try something casual like, I heard the door bell, or I must lock the room, or even something like, Let me make a drink for you. You do know what to do next?! Damn right.
Step 3 to Self Protection: Focus your mind and think of multiple ways to ward the problem off
Step 4 to Self Protection: Tame your facial expressions
To learn to do any of these, you first need to know how to relax your mind on your command. Try Meditation and Yoga for that. It has an immense positive influence on your thought process and has the power to deliver a calm expression whenever its most needed.
Now, if nothing works and you find yourself in a tight spot, woman, you need to fight!
To be honest, no style exists that is the “all-time” best for self defense. There are a lot of variables involved. And there is fair possibility that your attacker already knows your next move. The internet is flooded with such articles.
Anyway, this doesn’t mean you have no chance of getting out. All I’m saying is that each and every style will come with its own package of benefits and disadvantages. And when its matter of something like a woman’s modesty and dignity, I don’t think one should ever leave things to chances.
So, your best bet should be either ‘Mixed Martial Arts’ or ‘Street Style Fighting’.
You obviously cannot learn this from internet or by reading any super expert level book of instructions. You’ll learn best in a Self Defense Class. So, without second thoughts register for one!
Step 5 to Self Protection: Stay alert. Trust your intuition. Make use of technology. Use everyday objects to defend yourself.
Step 6 to Self Protection: Learn Self Defense from a Real Classroom
Finally, we are at a point where you might be interested in exploring your spectra of options for Self Defense Styles that work best. So here are they.
Be a know-it-all Ninja with Mixed Martial Arts
Its better to cross-train with the best of different styles of Martial Arts, than to become master of one. This practice will prepare you to be ready for any kind of situation.
You’ll be learning hard styles to create explosive striking motions against your attacker. And simultaneously the soft ones that make you utilize your opponent’s momentum to your advantage. Because, there is a large proportion of women like me out there, small and skinny, who feel they’ll faint at the very sight of a Hulk-like man approaching towards them. Anyway, that doesn’t happen in real. Thanks to our Super-woman hormones and instincts kicking in.
So rather than taking separate classes for Boxing, Muay Thai, Jujitsu or Judo, you’ll be learning the best bits from each.
Be the Meanest Street Smart
You do understand, ‘Street smart’ styles are not called that way for no purpose at all?! They are actually no-nonsense, no-frill systems! They are designed to unlock your commonsense and intuition, so you can use anything near you to your advantage and transform your body into a lethal weapon.
The styles include Krav Maga or the Israeli Commando, Kenpo Karate (Watch this movie, The Perfect Weapon), Systema or System used by Russians spetznaz and secret KGB cops, Jeet Kune Do and Filipino Martial Arts.
In such classes, not only will you build strength and endurance but will be able to instill a fighter’s spirit and aggressive mindset. Many celebrities like Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo Di Caprio, Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Hillary Swank and many others, have inculcated them into their fitness regime to enhance their onscreen fitness prowess and maximize explosiveness.
And finally, I’ll sign off with the most common, but undoubtedly, the most potent words on this matter.
Attack is the best form of defense.
Though I wouldn’t suggest you following these as the first step. Say it with me.
I’m a Warrior. And I’m not gonna end up victim!
I hope no kind of wrong ever touches you, but if it does, I pray you are well prepared for handling it. And by any means, if you have been through any kind of trauma, my suggestion is you go through this article “How to Recover from Sexual Assault” once at least.
Stay Alert. Keep Safe. And Trust your Intuitions.
“That Day After Everyday” – A Short Film by Anurag Kashyap
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