Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition where a man can’t achieve or hold an erection long enough for sexual intercouse. It’s not a topic that’s talked about openly even between couples who are struggling with this issue, despite most men going through this at some point of their lives.
We are familiar with how ED can be devastating for a man, but unfortunately not much is highlighted on how his partner feels about this. It is her sex life too, after all. ED is a serious problem known to damage relationships.
There’s no particular medical issue that causes it but there are plenty of treatment options such as cialis tablets and vacuum pumps. Yet, it is not ED the problem but it is the stigma around it which leads to the horrible lack of communication between both parties.
If you’re a man reading this and are going through ED, here’s a bit of an insight to how your partner might feel if you have not been communicating openly about your medical problem.
If you’re a woman who is concerned about your partner and have been going through a lot of anxiety yourself, this might be the article that solves most of your self-doubt and judgement.
She Thinks It’s Her Fault, When It’s NOT
Women tend to internalize things.
When her partner stops initiating intercourse, or he retreats when she approaches him in the bedroom, she’ll start to question what’s going on. Naturally, she’ll start thinking that she’s not attractive anymore to him and soon after, the anxiety and guilt creeps in.
This isn’t just speculation. According to a survey by Superdrug’s Online Doctor, 42% of women blame themselves for their partner’s ED!
She may start hinting about these insecurities, which causes him to retreat even further as he feels bad about the situation. This push-pull dynamic will exacerbate the longer communication is withheld.
She will start questioning his loyalty towards her, as she has reason to think that he is more attracted to another woman. As you start keeping your distance, this confirms her theory even further.
She Wants to Help
Men, it’s understandable that you’re under a lot of pressure to perform well sexually. But what entails from her not understanding what’s wrong will only make things worse. While some men do learn to open up, most give excuses from “I’m too tired” to “I’m not in the mood”.
And unfortunately, as pointed out by the survey, 29% of men with ED avoid answering altogether.
Women are nurturing by nature. She doesn’t want to humiliate you or blame you for your impotence. She wants to understand you because she cares. Intimacy isn’t just about sex, and she’s probably figured that out way before you started dating. She wouldn’t judge your value as a man by how you please her in bed.
It takes a lot of courage to admit having ED. But it goes a long way in preserving and flourishing your relationship. Your partner is here for you and wants the best for the relationship, but she can only help you if you can help yourself by communicating with her.