I shall soon be celebrating my son’s 1st birthday and clearly I had thought that I would leave no stone unturned to make it a big day for him.

But, yesterday, as I sat on my portico to sip my evening tea, looking at the kids in my neighborhood swimming in the pool, a thought just flashed into my mind.

Why am I taking so much pain to make my son’s 1st birthday a big big day of his life?

Isn’t he is too young to understand the shape of the cake, the theme of the party, the menu, or the concept of return gifts.

Why then, am I doing so much? Only to click pictures and put it in a folder to show to him when he grows up? Something inside said, “Perhaps, Yes!”

When I look back at my life and the birthdays that I have celebrated in the past, all I can think of is new clothes, gifts, cakes, celebration, lots of importance and attention being given to me.

In short, all of that is wrapped up together in a bag called ‘happiness’. I, personally associate happiness with all the birthday memories of my childhood and this pushes me to help my son create happy memories of his birthday too, beginning from the 1st one.

This also leaves me thinking, if memory has anything to do with happiness?

The answer was a big YES! It certainly has a lot to do with happiness.

Let’s see how…

Memories make us happy or sad.

Many a times, a hug or a pat that we receive gives us immense happiness. Why? May be because our Mom did that to us when we were a child.

“Good Job!,” said to us by anyone, reminds us of those notebook remarks by our teachers in school and they fill our hearts with joy. A good memory associated with these gestures brings us happiness.

If you ate at a restaurant in the local market and got an upset stomach the next morning, every time you even pass by that lane, something will stir inside your tummy.

Won’t be digestive juices for sure, but some negative memory attached to the sight and smell of that place, which will rob you of happiness and fill you up with discomfort.

The memory of the flea market might remind you of your granny’s place, the sound of the slamming door might get so many memories pouring down in front of your eyes, the smell of frying bacon might remind you of home made food by mom.

In the same manner, the taste of Christmas Cookies might bring in sweet memories of numerous Christmas eves with your childhood sweetheart and not to mention the touch of the big teddy bear from your childhood days might remind you of sleeping tight in bed carefree and safe.

This clearly puts across the message that our memories bring us happiness or sadness. We choose what we want to remember.

Always being happy

Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s Search For Meaning –

“the facts of our lives are just that – facts – but the meaning we bring to them is our choice!”

It all depends on us, how we look at the events of our past life. If we think about the lessons we learned from our mistakes, even sad memories can make us happy in the present. If we relive our happy memories, we will definitely become happy.

We’ve often got this advice when we are sad, depressed or overly nostalgic – ‘Live in the present!’.

We spend half the time of the day, and half of our life, playing the ‘should’ve-would’ve-could’ve’ CD in the player called our mind. If we stop replaying bitter negative memories from the past, our heart will be less heavy and we will feel much better at most times.

There is no use having a strong memory of unwanted events of the past as they can never make one happy. All we need to play in the mind are sweet and happy memories of the past which will bring us relief and good feelings.

As far as happiness is concerned, memories can make you happy if recalled and remembered in the correct way. Some wise man has said that happiness is not outside, but inside you.

And if you stay happy all the time, you will attract happiness by the law of attraction! And if you are happy you will create happy memories that will again make you happy in the future!

Confused? Ha! It just goes in a circle and has no end! Stay happy, make happy memories and remember them in the future to become happy again – is all I need to say. And remember, sometimes, it is good to be forgetful!